Here we go again. The calendar year is turning over which is commonly a signal as an opportunity for people to set new goals and make new changes, so they can become a new person and have a NEW life. New, new, new, new!!! SIGHING.....Why do we have to change to be new? Why can't we embrace and love what is and support the best version of ourselves? Why does the calendar year determine when our personal evolutions take place? What is wrong with starting mid-year, end of year, beginning of the year?
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying new year resolutions are bullsh*t. What I am sharing is that it can become bullsh*t when we are trying to change ourselves to be a new person verses a better version of ourselves. What's the difference? Becoming a new person is adopting new habits that change you into someone else that exists. Their looks, their behaviors, their values and morals, their goals etc. Becoming a better version of yourself is committed to improvement.
You can develop a better version of you by having a sense of gratitude. There has been extensive research on having gratitude over the years especially at the University of Berkeley. Having gratitude and taking time to pause and recognize what you are grateful for completely eradicates any negative emotions, not just in the present moment but it weakens any grudges you hold against the world
Building meaningful relationships gives you something to live for outside of your own personal quest for the acquisition of status and objects. You can accomplish this by treating others with the same respect you would like, being a present listener, and not share experiences but open yourself up and be vulnerable with your family and friends.
Have a purpose to live! It doesn't need to be extravagant nor require sacrifice or suffering. A purpose is a vision and one that doesn't concern an outcome but rather a reason that drives the action.
Becoming a better version of yourself also involves sorting your priorities. Many find their priorities to be money, time, health, and then reputation. These are the 4 most common priorities and in the exact order of importance. I highly encourage you to not be the most common and choose your own priorities in your own order. When you treat the foundations of life with the proper respect and order your priorities correctly, you’re well on your way to becoming a better person.
When you are always making short term goals, you will always be in a state of reaction verses responding. This will exhaust you and you won't be able to sustain the actions needed for long term goals that will actually make you a better version of yourself. This lack of foresight stems from an inability to endure the suffering of delayed gratification. By sidestepping this suffering, the irony is that you suffer more. Begin to look at things with a strategic eye verses a random view.
Strive to understand human nature. If you accept the truth about yourself, it becomes easier to know and accept the truth about other people. Most of us are neither good or bad. We’re just trying to make the best out of our individual circumstances. When you are not accepting your own truth, you are insecure with yourself. Being insecure with yourself whether it's your looks, job, disability, relationship, etc....produces anxiety, self-sabotaging behaviors, unhealthy relationships, and your ability to move forward to wanted desires.
Have standards and boundaries. Without them, people do what is easiest and not what is best for themselves or others.
Last but not least to support becoming the best version of you in the new year, always give value. There is a simple formula for computing your worth. If you give more than you take, you’re an asset. If you take more than given, you’re a liability. In other words, you become more valuable when you give more to the world than you take from it. Most people are always taking from the world. They exist in a constant state of production, hardly producing anything. They consume more as value is placed on what they have. You see this in their choice of entertainment and lifestyle. They do not leave the world better than they found it.
These people are living examples of the scarcity mindset. Regardless of the balance in your bank account, the size of your home, the car you drive, or the title of you hold at your job, have an abundance mindset.
Let this New Year be about becoming the BEST version of yourself and for yourself. Eliminate the pressure to become a new person and have a new life and shift the focus on honoring and accepting who you have already become. Give yourself the gift of living a BullS*t free life by not following the traditions and trends but what feels right and good to you for you!
CHEERS to all!
Jondrea Phelps-Hell
ICF Certified Empowerment Coach
ICF Certified Organizational Development Coach
230 RYT Yoga Instructor
Reiki Master
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